Not so long ago I was asked this question,”Why do you work in background ? Why so secretive ?”
This was the same argument that the Professor made on day 3 when I was accomplishing a joint task.I didn’t take it seriously until I was asked by this person,”Why do you work in background ? Why so secretive ?”
I didn’t have an answer – well at least not a plausible answer which I would withhold. This trait to my personality dates back since the third week of January, 2007.I even remember the date and time ; it was January 21 at 3:45 am
That very moment bifurcated the path of my life in two ways; one which was normal, the other which was secretive and yet self-appealing.The result – both good and bad.I consider it as malicious for my current state of life.Sometimes when we get what we want, makes us over compelled to the extent that we stop to value what we have.And the worse is if you know something, and yet you cannot talk about it to anyone.
That’s the problem, depending on how you look at it.
The Professor once told me about,”Sense of acceptance and belongingness” drives how we live in the society.People craving too hard for these tend to run away from being social and affable, and I agree on this.I must admit, I have not let my true side (not to sound lame but that includes feelings) portray on my mood and the way I put myself up in front of people – which is good when it comes to being “strong headed” person doing some sorta analysis but then it’s bad for a “human being”.
Over the past ‘few’ years (especially since Nov’10), I have started to disconnect myself from other people and the world around me, call it resurgence or asceticism, I thought that would help me to resurrect things around me faster.But that turned out to counter the very problems I had been dealing back then.
Sorry for the incomplete and toasted post, but I needed this vent, if not whole hearted one, at least the partial truth.Hope to finish this post soon.