fENZOMANI

Blog

Making my personal page further minimalist.I am back on SeaMonkey, to create a HTML based blog.Hope people like it.Yes, just like last time, but no scripts at all, and no tracking as usual.Obviously no advertisements, I never believed in web advertising.Hope it works out good.

Cheers,
fENZOMANI


Coming soon : A poem by an acquaintance that has something to say.

Beautiful fall sunset,
Take me back to better days.
Take me back to the childhood innocence,
I'd thought I'd never crave.
But here I sit,
Now my heart's in a pit,
Cold with fear,
And shivering with regret.
Growing up too fast,
I continue to fret.
"Rejoice in Thy youth"
I should have believed,
Even when I was ready,
To never again breathe.
Oh, the regrets that fill my heart.
I need to win this battle,
Before it tears me apart.
"Easier said than done".
It couldn't be more true.
Everyday is a new battle,
I continue to lose.
I gave up on my mom,
I avoided my dad.
I tried and tried,
But only cried over the life I no longer had.
So please, fall sunset,
Take me back to when I didn't know.
Take me back to when I didn't care.
Take me back to no regret...


You can reach to the person who penned this beautiful poem here

Usual Day

The lab is always empty.Like my past, it was repainted with a coat of pale white luster paint, to create an ambiance of lab-space.


                                     .       .

     ________________________________.       .
    |\ _WALL - >_____________________|       |
    | |                            |E|       |
    | |                            |X|       |
    |W|                            |I|       |
    |I|                            |T|       |
    |N|                            | |       |
    |D|   X                        | |       |
    |O|                            | |       |
    |W|                            |_|       |
    | |                               \      |
    | |______________________________  \     |  
    |/__WALL AGAIN !____|DOOR|_______|       |
    . \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\.       .
    . THE "OTHER" LAB AND THEIR\\\\\\.       .
    . OTHER PEOPLE\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\.       .
    .\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\.       .



See the X mark ? That's where I usually sit(You can even click on X above to see what I see through the window outside).Oh, the lab requires access code, so don't be under the impression that anyone can walk-in or go-out of the lab easily.That's it.I have spent here most of my time in last 7 months.I seldom go back to home to sleep.I barely sleep for 6 - 7 hours, wake up, eat some breakfast and get off for lab.There are rarely any visitors, except some few usual faces.Having spent 24 hours straight for few days to few hours everyday, this lab has become a characteristic of current phase of my life.But like every video game - there are constraints.

The big constraint : The "OTHER" lab and their "OTHER" people.Call these people some of my alter-ego(s) or people who like to peep through the red door, to see what people in my lab are upto, walls being made out of wood, one needs to be very careful.As a result I am under a constant fear that these "OTHER" will hack into my designs or developments talked about during one of those conversations amongst other people in my lab.It becomes difficult to hide what one is working on and keep one's creativity healthy.

It's just because of this reason that I enter the lab as swiftly and as quietly as possible.Since the access door is right adjacent to the "OTHER" lab, I never exit from the access door ; I always use the EXIT door (some people in our lab didn't even know it existed/functioned as door). Having said that, I need a permanent fix to this problem.Hope I can find a fix or be more fearless in letting "OTHER" people monitor my research progress.


The great risk.

Every now and then you come to a day , an hour or a minute that can be life-changing.For me that day has arrived.I have to make a decision with a huge risk involved, which can either flourish or ruin my career.When everything comes at stake, your mind starts to wander with anxieties, your heart starts to pump blood with stress and you body feels like it's added a few hundred pounds.

I can't make this huge decision with an impulse.Taking up such a decision involves evaluating outcomes, taking calculated risks.It would be great if you had someone to share this to, but all that it does is to ease the mental stress, one still has to suffer with the pain of coming up with a decision.
     


Found something interesting ? Or something to share ?  You can reach me by sending email to the second word that you see on the address bar @gmail.com